Surviving the Straight Pride Parade by Nathaniel Shurtleff

Well, it’s official, I survived the Straight pride rally.

What started as an innocent attempt to join a meme parade led to a harrowing treck through the streets of Boston, marching alongside ANTIFA terrorists and what I can only describe as a demon horde of undead alphabet people. Overall, it was a pretty good Saturday.

Boston was especially challenging to navigate on Saturday the 31st, with students moving into the various universities and many of the streets blocked off for the parade. Because of this, our group which included Barbara from Harlem, and her daughter Bebe, was not able to arrive in time to join the Straight Pride parade with our decorated van. Realizing this, my father gave me a banner which referenced the banning of the Christian flag in Boston, and a mission: infiltrate the Straight Pride parade and find someone to help me hold the banner.

b I caught up with the parade at Boston Common, but unfortunately, I was on the protestors’ side of the barricades. I walked with the protestors and ANTIFA members for about an hour, which was an almost indescribable experience. One ANTIFA member who was wearing what looked like all-black riot armor but was more likely airsoft or paintball gear, and a demon mask with the hard parts of the costume painted blue and pink (the colors of the straight pride flag….fail), took a break from calling the police fascists and white supremacist protectors to allow me to walk in front of him at a particularly narrow part of the sidewalk. “After you!” he said, speaking through his pink and blue demon mask in a very pleasant sing-songy voice moments after screaming obscenities at the cops. He (yes, I am assuming his gender) was not alone in his abuse of the police; many of the protestors were using foul language to verbally abuse the parade participants and the police detail that was protecting them. Especially the female officers, who were catcalled and sexually harassed by the “tolerant” left.

I finally found a gap in the barricades at a confusing intersection a few blocks from city hall plaza where the lines between the protesters and pride marchers were blurred. This is also the location were one of the marchers was attacked and spit on by one of the protesting swamp creatures. I did not see the assault myself, as I was about ten feet in front of him struggling to hold open my banner, but I heard the commotion and turned around to see another marcher pull the two apart. This particular altercation made the front page of the Boston Herald. In the distance, waving above this chaos was the good ole’ American flag, like a moth to a flame myself and several other straight people made our way to the flag. The young couple that was holding the flag told us that there was “strength in numbers” as we marched our way to the security checkpoint in front of city hall plaza. Once we arrived at the checkpoint, the young man holding the flag turned to our ragtag group and said: “guys, we just walked through ANTIFA!”

After arriving at the checkpoint, I was struggling to hold open my banner until a random guy read it and decided to hold the other end, mission accomplished! After a few minutes of this, our group was told that we were not permitted to enter at this location, probably because it was unsafe, and that we would have to go around the plaza, back the way we came, to another checkpoint on the opposite side. On our way, we got to absorb some protestor venom as they berated, spat, and threw random garbage (their pamphlets) at us. Most of the projectiles landed hilariously at the thrower’s feet. The spit, however, did shower our group, especially the poor slob to my right who absorbed his share of the vile fluid. Eventually, we arrived at the checkpoint, and after a brief wait and some confusion, most of us were allowed in to hear the speakers. My Dad and I went on the stage and proudly held our Banned in Boston.”

This event allowed me the unique opportunity to see the violence, hatred, and intolerance of the left from both sides of the barricades. If the extreme reaction to a parade celebrating traditional family values put on by a group called Super Happy Fun America doesn’t highlight the need for groups like Camp Constitution to educate and prepare the next generation to fight back against this madness, I don’t know what will.

  Photos by Suzanne Genz Ianni

Super Happy Fun America’s website is

Nathaniel Shurtleff is a camp counselor at Camp Constitution’s annual family camp and has attended the camp as a camper since its inception in 2009.